In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey. What’s in your head,
In your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie? – The Cranberries
Wow, I said it, how liberating. I feel like I am maturing and regressing at the exact same time. I also can’t believe I am having to write a post about something so incredibly infantile.
Perps want targets to feel deeply ashamed and disgusted by themselves. If you have a nasty habit and they mimic it back to you everywhere you go, you have no one to blame but yourself, right? Because you are the one who does this nasty thing in private. And if you didn’t do this nasty thing they wouldn’t be mimicking back to you in the first place. So we have shame, anger, guilt, disgust, humiliation, degradation, alienation, isolation, and self-loathing all packed into one punch. It’s not a joke, this same exact tactic was used by a foreign country to effectively break down American POW’s.
When a target commits a violent act and no one ever finds out why they did it, it is because they are too ashamed to say why. Ashamed of themselves and their own compulsive habits. Ashamed that they could become violent over such infantile behavior. Ashamed that their every thought, motivation, and flaw has been laid out on display for thousands of perps. If more targets would come out in the open with what their perps are really doing to them, the severe degree of cruelty and torture perps inflict would be better exposed.
But it is tough. The things perps mimic/repeat can be deeply embarrassing to TI’s and that is why perps do it. And to try to relate these things to other people is even more humiliating, and the perps know this. But TI’s have to bite the bullet and push through it. It is severe psychological abuse and needs to be exposed.
These are some things my perps mimic constantly that are deeply humiliating to me:
I pick my nose and eat it.
I fart a lot and loudly.
I rub lotion onto my breasts and thighs after I shower.
When I masturbate, I sometimes touch my breasts and jiggle them up and down.
I snack constantly at home. I overeat and I inhale my food. I rarely use a napkin.
I flush the toilet right before I urinate to hide the sound from my neighbors.
I sometimes get urine on the floor/bathroom rug because of this, causing an odor.
I don’t flush the toilet again after I go so the bowl often has paper/ urine left in it.
I read while I am on the toilet. I look at the Victoria’s Secret Catalog a lot.
When they were causing me to have severe constipation last spring, I would sometimes inspect my stools with a Q-tip.
At home, when the weather is warm, I wear white “wife beater” tank tops with no bra.
I frequently crack the knuckles in my hands.
I frequently pick at skin on the sides of my face, forehead, and upper back/shoulders.
I have hair around my nipples.
When my hair is dirty my scalp itches, when I scratch it I get dandruff under my fingernails. I have to scrape it out with another nail.
I’m not a good housekeeper.
I wear a pair of red fleece Christmas themed pajama pants throughout the year when I am cold.
I frequently spray saliva when I talk.
I save empty cardboard boxes in my storage unit.
I don’t always use the most appropriate word to describe something.
I lost so much weight from stress when my stalking went overt, my bras no longer fit and the straps kept falling down. Women would mimick me pulling up my bra straps. One elderly woman even did it at a traffic light. She was so theatrical about it she reminded me of a mime.
In addition to the above, they also have knowledge of when I have my periods and when I shave my genital area. They have made comments/innuendo about it in therapy and during classes.
Thousands of perps already know this information about me because I have been under illegal surveillance inside my home 24/7/365. Scrutinized to the extreme where “nothing is unimportant”. These behaviors have been mimicked repeatedly back to me physically, verbally, and non-verbally non-stop over the past 11 months by men, women, and children. By cops, attorneys, therapists, neighbors, city officials/employees, perps in group therapy, perps posing as TI’s, coworkers, at Church, at yoga, at traffic court, at City Council meetings, at the beach, at the market, at salons, at the vet, at restaurants, in classes, at bars, online, on the phone, in traffic, by complete strangers on the streets. It is the perps’ way of making the target feel freshly raped and assaulted each and every day, all day.
I am not proud of these habits, some of them are compulsive and I have no control over them. They are disgusting to me too and I still can’t believe that everywhere I go right now people are acting them out in front of me. When a target reveals these things they take the risk of feeling even more vulnerable and exposed, when we are already so raw from abuse. But I think it’s important that we reveal all the ugliness and bring it out into the light. None of these things I do are illegal or deviant, but they are socially unacceptable. That’s why they occur at home, not in public. I know I am not the only one who does these things, but our perception becomes extremely distorted as they are magnified and amplified by the perps. Up until last summer, I thought I was doing these things in the privacy of my own home. Before I found out I actually had an audience and my home was now a “fishbowl”.
So judge away, everyone. I may be a sweat hog but at least I am a nice/attractive one, who is really a good person. At least I’m not a toxic fucking mess and a zombie jihadist Nazi serial killer imbecile/sadistic psychopath, orgasming with a red white and blue DHS dildo up my ass.
Good for you. I’m also not afraid to post what they do to me. It frees me in some way. Imagine how disgusting they are?
I’m reposting this. Let everyone experience freedom.
Go for it. Why should my perps be the only ones who know?
Reblogged this on Neverending1's Blog.
Welps…. Might as well open the flood gates. I have to give this to you raw so be ware.
“Personal Things The Perps Harass Me About Too”
When I take a shower, it’s not a good shower for me unless I remove all of the shit from between my ass cheeks. I use plenty of soap and do a lot of rinsing and am careful about making sure that nothing is left on me or in the tub but the fact is that I do it and no longer feel clean enough if I don’t. On multiple occasions I have even bought and installed removable shower heads in people’s showers just so I could use it. But that was when I actually had some money. Those days are gone now.
On the flip side, if I’m not scheduled to do anything, I will sit, locked up in my room, pecking away at my computer, or whatever the hell has my attention, and veg-out for days, if I don’t expect to see anyone. They hate that shit and try to find ways to get me out of the room and be around people while I’m all funked out.
I’m also guilty of doing a, half-ass, wash up in the sink, if it’s been less than a day or two since I’ve done the heavy shower. The perps lay the harassment on thick then, I assume because it’s just not clean enough for them. All I really do is wipe my ass with toilet paper, then I soap and wipe down my crotch and underarms, and wipe my head and torso down but I tend not to use as much soap there. My feet get no love on the half-ass sink wash-up. I haven’t had problems with my feet stinking since I got rid of fungal infections that I had as a child, so I get a little lazy and figure they can get by until the next heavy shower… …The perps promptly don’t agree and harass the shit out of me for it. They just keep talking about stuff that needs to be cleaned and they use and then leave behind communal areas, dirty enough so that I have to clean it up before I can use it. They like to pee on the toilet seat and floor and let their bath water ring the tub and not rinse it down before it dries. They also seem to keep these vibrations on me, especially when I’m in front of my computer or just sitting or standing still. Among other things, the vibrations make me hotter. If I’m not clean enough, I feel more sticky when I sweat from it, feel more like I need to do a heavy shower.
Enough about them, more about my guilty fears. Yup, it gets worse. These guys have me thoroughly mind fucked. The stuff they do, outside my room, has me blocking the top and bottom of my door with clothes just to reduce smoke and irritants from coming in, given that I don’t smoke. Now, to cut down on having to repeatedly deal with the door, I keep, in my room, two one-gallon jugs of water for drinking, one large Tide container to pee in, and a jar, with a little pine-sol in it…… ….nope not for shit…. …for seaman. TMI? Gotta let it all out 😀 By the way I do go ahead and go to the bathroom for taking a dump. It’s just too damn hard to deal with if you fuck up and get it stuck on something. Now these guys have plenty of harassment material, don’t they. They even have a special day of the week for me to do more physically oriented stuff around the area. They tend to pick dirty jobs for me.
Not much else to say. There’s my two cents.
In solidarity! What is your living situation?
I live in my Father’s room and board house. There are usually between 10 and 20 guys around at any given time. Many of these guys are ex military and they all seem to be secret society because I, at least, get double speak from every one of them.
My Father is also a Pastor with a masters degree in the field of education. He is my Father but he is all about psychological manipulation and has many years of experience using it to deal with classrooms full of students. He also seems to have some serious secret society or governmental ties because I have moved all over the United States and after over ten years since moving out of my Father’s house (before it was room and board), I moved back in, due to a string of jobs I got mobbed off of and ran flat out of money, only to realize that my Father and apparently the rest of my family was not only aware of everything but may have had much to do with why it was happening. For the record, the only way I think they are involved is based on the way they double speak at me, as none of them are literally claiming any knowledge of what I’ve experienced on these jobs.
I think as long as I’m not following family tradition and faith, they are going to continue taking me all the way down to being home and possession-less. I’m currently being sued by one creditor and a second creditor has reached the point of making a ridiculous offer like “give us half the balance and we’ll call it good and leave you alone.” A third creditor, who’s card, I’ve managed to never default on and is still current and in good standing today, just, up and asked me to verify my current income, sighting that they would like to know for the possibility of increasing my limit. Yeah right! Once they find out my ass is broke as hell with no income in sight, they are going to cut me straight off, regardless of how I managed to keep it paid. Not only that but within maybe a couple days of the third creditor’s income request, a fourth FX Trading account, that I have, also asked for the same income verification. I guess if one creditor sues you, everyone else is notified and decides to freak out on you regardless of your account status. If you can’t keep all of them tight, you don’t get any of them. Not to mention the creditor that is sueing me bought my account from Chase Bank, who bought my account from another creditor, as I have never opened any account with Chase. But Chase seems to have it out for me because they bought another one of my accounts before but could not collect because I had already ended up going bankrupt on it (another long story in itself). It only gets more weird considering that my Father banks with Chase and a relative on my mother’s side also worked at Chase, who’s mother’s name showed up as associated to me when I did a Google search on my own name, trying to figure out how people could seem to know so much about me. These dots may not be connected but they are spooking me the hell out.
These are some specifics. Let me know what else you want to know and I’ll respond.
Hats off to you for having the courage to share this. At least we are human, huh? Isn’t that refreshing!
Rest assured that even if you didn’t have any of these behaviors, the perps would create some fictitious ones. I’m in a plain-vanilla committed, long-term relationship–it would make you yawn. But this hasn’t stopped the perps from cutting the crotch seam out of my pants, sending junk mail to my address on which the name of the addressee is lewd, and tossing pages from p*rn magazines on my property–all seemingly suggesting that I’m promiscuous.
Gangstalkers could make Mother Teresa look like a prostitute or pervert. And they would do it, too, with glee and without a bit of remorse, if the price was right and they got enough jollies out of it. Incredibly sick bunch.
So true, thanks.
This must help you feel better about yourself, who you are, and what you represent. Good for you!
The question i have is most elites are pedophiles and most cops….so why are they harassing us? Is it a pedophile ring? Like ohhh yes were watching some terrorists to like cover the pedophile rings? If u study the pedo sociopath stuff…they never grow up mentally…explains childlike antics….for all we know clyde tolson was very abusive to j edgar hoover…forcing sodomy and beatings on the long reigning fbi director…humiliating him innfront of company and raping hoover while forcing him tonassume a femalenrole….then the mob took pictures of it…in frusttation hoover lashed out at defensless groups in futility tonquiet his demon posessed mind.
Well i dont know what i do but i know i dont hog up palestine and use white phosphorous on civilians…i know i dont put on my waffle ss uniform and toss flash bang gernades into cribs…i know i dont sell drugs to fundnsecret wars to murder angry peasants….i mean terrorists…and i dont frack the planet for gas poisoning thendrinking water….you get thendrift
My brother suggested I might like this web site. He was totally right.
This post truly made my day. You cann’t imagine just how much time I had spent for this info!
Thank you, this is probably my most revealing blog post lol. I think it pretty much seals my fate to remain a single woman lol. But seriously, I got slammed hard by the humiliation campaign and I think the shaming is what pushes a lot of people over the edge. I put it all out there to let people know they are not alone and they can live through this.
I quit shaving my chick parts, because I have to go through a pack of razors, because of my chick parts hair, is A lot! and besides, razors, even the cheap ones, cost too much, in this economy, right now, and I have other junk I like to buy too, or whatever…….by the way: I Have No Real people Friends, so I just Make Friends, Of The Random insects That Get Into My apartment here in Texas or whatever, be my best Friends! I Don’t Trust Other people These Days, (for Obvious reasons!) In This Life, Because They Are ALL LIARS! probably, no probably about it! TRUST NO ONE, AND NOBODY! I Don’t Trust Nobody And No One, Much These Days, If I Ever Did, Anyways!
im going through the chronic constipation. I don’t get normal bowls. Its small tiny amounts at a time. Did you ever get better? if so when and how?