I do not have a violent bone in my body. But if I ever did pull an Aaron Alexis or Miriam Carey, I have a pretty good idea of what people will say about me after I am arrested or killed. This includes family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, law enforcement, attorneys, and therapists.

Neighbors:

“She was a loner. I rarely saw anyone visiting. She worked from home and rarely left her home.”

“She had a breakdown just over a year ago, we called the Sheriff’s dept. multiple times. Her family was very concerned about her.”

“She was very quiet and kept to herself. After her “breakdown” she became less friendly and irritable and rarely spoke to anyone. She started taking pictures and videos of us which upset some neighbors.”

“She became a habitual complainer, filing complaints with the HOA, Sheriff dept., and the city staff regarding increased traffic and loud vehicles on our street/property and noise/harassment/stalking by neighbors.”

“She vandalized a neighbor’s door just because his dog barked too loudly at her.”

Interpretation: “We’re so innocent and sweet. It’s all her own fault. We tried our best to help her. We never did anything to antagonize or provoke her. She was mentally ill and in denial of her illness.”

Coworkers:

“She had a severe breakdown at work last summer. She did not recognize some of us. We called the police. She was acting paranoid and delusional.  She did not think they were real cops and tried to injure herself when they detained her.”

“She filed grievances about increased noise inside the call center, disparate treatment by supervisors and coworkers, being singled out for harassment and that we filed a false police report on her.”

“I used to be friendly with her, we hung out socially outside of work. Since her breakdown at work she would no longer speak to me.”

Interpretation: “We’re so sweet and innocent. She’s one of our best employees. We did what we could to help, we didn’t do anything wrong, it was the police dept.’s fault she had a panic reaction. We didn’t to anything to antagonize or provoke her.”

Family/Friends:

“She had a breakdown. She said cars with blacked out windows were following her around the city. That was she was being harassed and singled out at work and being followed around the community by groups of people on foot.”

“When we went to her home to help her she wouldn’t let us inside. She did not believe we were really her family. She said there was excessive/loud traffic on her street. We encouraged her inpatient psychiatrist to put her on Risperdal, extend her involuntary hold, and put her under a conservatorship for her “mental illness”. But our sister refused everything.”

“Since last summer she will not make any verbal,written, or face to face contact with us.”

Interpretation: “We’re so sweet and innocent. We tried to help. She was mentally ill and in denial of her diagnosis. This is all her own fault. We didn’t do anything to antagonize or provoke her.”

Law Enforcement:

Sheriff Dept.- “We made multiple visits to her home last summer and also a safety check on Christmas day. She had multiple complaints about loud vehicles and harassment from neighbors. We told her we don’t have gang stalking in our city.”

Police Dept.- “She did not think we were real police officers when we came to her work. Her coworkers were concerned about her. We were just doing our job when we detained her and cuffed her with excessive force at her desk that day (without actually witnessing her doing anything wrong). We had a right to do what we did.”

Interpretation: “We’re innocent. It was her own fault she didn’t cooperate with us.  She did this because she is mentally ill.”

Therapists:

“She was held involuntarily for 8 days last summer for having a breakdown at home that carried over into work.”

“She stated she was being gang stalked. We told her there is no evidence this problem really exists and it would not be feasible for this to happen anyway.”

“We researched the topic of gang stalking as she requested but all we could find is anecdotal information in blogs and on the internet.”

Interpretation: “We tried to help her but she was in denial of her mental illness/ delusional disorder. She was open to therapy but refused medications and did not agree with her diagnosis. We didn’t do anything wrong.”

Every single one of these people may as well have physically and violently raped me. I have never in my life experienced the extreme terror, anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, and PTSD this crime has caused me. Every single one of these people are guilty of menticide and conspiracy to murder. They are not innocent, they were not “doing the right thing”, they were not just “doing their jobs”/ business as usual. Every single one of these people was fully aware of the destruction they were causing. It’s not the first time they’ve done it and it won’t be the last. The fact that they are able to repeatedly hide these heinous crimes from the courts does not make them innocent. But no crime is perfect. The fact is I am still standing, I will never do anything violent, and I will work to expose these murderers until well after I am 6 feet under. F*CK each and every single one of you 🙂