Monthly Archives: May 2013

Mindlessness Class

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I’m so glad I just spent hundreds on an 8 week mindfulness class at a local clinic so I can be guaranteed relentless harassment for 2.5 hrs. a week. In this class I am treated to:

Stalking by multiple people

Mimicking (picking nose, touching chest)

Gesture harassment (brushing hair, pointing)

Blocking harassment (blocking walkways, hallways, doorways, blocking my path inside and around the classroom, blocking my car in the parking lot on foot and by vehicle)

Vehicular harassment (Large trucks pulling into/ out of spaces facing classroom windows)

Air harassment (loud aircraft doing direct overhead flights)

Noise harassment (loud/squeaky shoes, loud talking, fake coughing, snoring/heavy breathing, opening/closing door repeatedly)

Color harassment (Purple, turquoise, red, blue, anything neon)

Turning a ceiling light on over me when room is supposed to be darkened for meditation.

This is our second class. I liked the teacher at first but she is heavy into the harassment this week, pretending to pick her nose like every 5 minutes. When I walked into the classroom today, she was standing next to a podium with a tall male with grey hair. He was standing with one hand under his chin and his pointer finger pressed up against his lips, pointing towards his right nostril. He stood this way for at least 15 seconds like he was deep in thought. This was a skit.

Last week during class I left a sweater coat in a cubby near the door. I got cold halfway through the class I and went to get it. Someone had dipped almost the whole right cuff in water. I also bought a paperback book with me that was in like new condition and left it in the cubby. After class the condition of the book look more like “used” and I wondered if it was swapped out during class.

Today they even pulled a “vanishing act”. I looked up at the teacher to see a male behind her walking out of the room. I don’t know where he came from and he did not return. They do the vanishing stuff a lot with me and that’s why I do believe they are messing around with invisibility cloaks or something in that vein.

Today a little Asian female blocked me as I left class. As I headed towards the glass double door exit, she appeared from a hallway on the right and exited ahead of me. She then changed her mind and decided to walk back in the same door I was exiting from. This was a skit. I opened the door forcefully and stood in front of her and said “move, asshole” and kept on walking. “What??? Oh my God that was so rude!!” she started to exclaim. I think she was actually having a nipple erection. This little dipshit looked like a hospital employee dressed in scrubs. My class is in the Integrative Health building. There are no inpatient or operating rooms in this building, it is separated from the main hospital by a large parking garage. This means the only reason this little c*nt was in there was to harass me.

It’s funny how the teacher starts the each class with a meditation saying “you are in a safe place now.” Really? I shouldn’t be surprised, I used to work at this hospital. When my stalking went overt last summer, I went back to find a friend I used to work with and there was a massive gaslighting campaign going on. They were expecting me and there was harassment and skits galore, complete with look-alikes. I am ashamed to belong to the same species as the “people” who commit this heinous abuse.

Police/Fire Dept./ Lifeguard Harassment log 5/11/13

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7:30 am  – Passed Sheriff or CHP patrol car stopped on the side of the road one block from my home. Both officers were standing next to the car with a female civilian.

8:00 am –  Passed by Police patrol car.

3:19 pm  – Passed by a Police patrol car while driving.

3:28 pm – Passed Police patrol car parked right next to the road at a business.

4:35 pm  – Walking to the beach, passed by a firetruck and an ambulance with lights and sirens on. When I arrive at the beach, there is a red lifeguard truck, an ambulance, a firetruck, and a Sheriff patrol car all parked at the entrance. They are preparing to put a actor patient on a gurney.

9:36 pm – Passed a “traffic stop” in the turn lane, 2 Sheriff patrol cars, one with lights flashing.

I Eat Boogers.

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In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey. What’s in your head,
In your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie?   – The Cranberries

Wow, I said it, how liberating. I feel like I am maturing and regressing at the exact same time. I also can’t believe I am having to write a post about something so incredibly infantile.

Perps want targets to feel deeply ashamed and disgusted by themselves. If you have a nasty habit and they mimic it back to you everywhere you go, you have no one to blame but yourself, right? Because you are the one who does this nasty thing in private. And if you didn’t do this nasty thing they wouldn’t be mimicking back to you in the first place. So we have shame, anger, guilt, disgust, humiliation, degradation, alienation, isolation, and self-loathing all packed into one punch. It’s not a joke, this same exact tactic was used by a foreign country to effectively break down American POW’s.

When a target commits a violent act and no one ever finds out why they did it, it is because they are too ashamed to say why. Ashamed of themselves and their own compulsive habits. Ashamed that they could become violent over such infantile behavior. Ashamed that their every thought, motivation, and flaw has been laid out on display for thousands of perps. If more targets would come out in the open with what their perps are really doing to them, the severe degree of cruelty and torture perps inflict would be better exposed.

But it is tough. The things perps mimic/repeat can be deeply embarrassing to TI’s and that is why perps do it. And to try to relate these things to other people is even more humiliating, and the perps know this. But TI’s have to bite the bullet and push through it. It is severe psychological abuse and needs to be exposed.

These are some things my perps mimic constantly that are deeply humiliating to me:

I pick my nose and eat it.

I fart a lot and loudly.

I rub lotion onto my breasts and thighs after I shower.

When I masturbate, I sometimes touch my breasts and jiggle them up and down.

I snack constantly at home. I overeat and I inhale my food. I rarely use a napkin.

I flush the toilet right before I urinate to hide the sound from my neighbors.

I sometimes get urine on the floor/bathroom rug because of this, causing an odor.

I don’t flush the toilet again after I go so the bowl often has paper/ urine left in it.

I read while I am on the toilet. I look at the Victoria’s Secret Catalog a lot.

When they were causing me to have severe constipation last spring, I would sometimes inspect my stools with a Q-tip.

At home, when the weather is warm, I wear white “wife beater” tank tops with no bra.

I frequently crack the knuckles in my hands.

I frequently pick at skin on the sides of my face, forehead, and upper back/shoulders.

I have hair around my nipples.

When my hair is dirty my scalp itches, when I scratch it I get dandruff under my fingernails. I have to scrape it out with another nail.

I’m not a good housekeeper.

I wear a pair of red fleece Christmas themed pajama pants throughout the year when I am cold.

I frequently spray saliva when I talk.

I save empty cardboard boxes in my storage unit.

I don’t always use the most appropriate word to describe something.

I lost so much weight from stress when my stalking went overt, my bras no longer fit and the straps kept falling down. Women would mimick me pulling up my bra straps. One elderly woman even did it at a traffic light. She was so theatrical about it she reminded me of a mime.

In addition to the above, they also have knowledge of when I have my periods and when I shave my genital area. They have made comments/innuendo about it in therapy and during classes.

Thousands of perps already know this information about me because I have been under illegal surveillance inside my home 24/7/365. Scrutinized to the extreme where “nothing is unimportant”. These behaviors have been mimicked repeatedly back to me physically, verbally, and non-verbally non-stop over the past 11 months by men, women, and children. By cops, attorneys, therapists, neighbors, city officials/employees, perps in group therapy, perps posing as TI’s, coworkers, at Church, at yoga, at traffic court, at City Council meetings, at the beach, at the market, at salons, at the vet, at restaurants, in classes, at bars, online, on the phone, in traffic, by complete strangers on the streets. It is the perps’ way of making the target feel freshly raped and assaulted each and every day, all day.

I am not proud of these habits, some of them are compulsive and I have no control over them. They are disgusting to me too and I still can’t believe that everywhere I go right now people are acting them out in front of me. When a target reveals these things they take the risk of feeling even more vulnerable and exposed, when we are already so raw from abuse. But I think it’s important that we reveal all the ugliness and bring it out into the light. None of these things I do are illegal or deviant, but they are socially unacceptable. That’s why they occur at home, not in public. I know I am not the only one who does these things, but our perception becomes extremely distorted as they are magnified and amplified by the perps. Up until last summer, I thought I was doing these things in the privacy of my own home. Before I found out I actually had an audience and my home was now a “fishbowl”.

So judge away, everyone. I may be a sweat hog but at least I am a nice/attractive one, who is really a good person. At least I’m not a toxic fucking mess and a zombie jihadist Nazi serial killer imbecile/sadistic psychopath, orgasming with a red white and blue DHS dildo up my ass.

Sheriff Dept. Harassment 5/08/13 and 5/09/13

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5/08

4:25 pm – Passed by Sheriff patrol car.

4:30 pm- – Passed by Sheriff patrol car.

4:56 pm – Sheriff patrol car at intersection.

6:00 pm – Sheriff patrol car parked at City Hall.

6:01 pm – Deputy or fireman stationed inside City Hall.

5/09

8:15 pm – Passed by Sheriff Patrol car while walking.

Police/Fire/Sheriff Dept./Lifeguard/Ambulance Harassment Log 5/07/13

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8:30 am  – Police patrol waiting at intersection after I pull out of parking lot, I end up in same lane right behind them.

9:34 am  – Sheriff patrol car passed me at intersection w/ gesture harassment/ arm out the window.

9:36 am  – Volunteer Sheriff patrol car waiting for me parked in Staples parking lot.

12:24 pm  – Passed by Police patrol car.

12:35 pm  – Passed by Highway Patrol police car on South freeway. He turns off ahead of me at my exit ramp, I end right behind them at the traffic light. Patrol car then crosses road and gets right back on Freeway going South. License plate # 1289130.

1:13 pm  – Passed “Traffic stop” in middle turn lane- Sheriff patrol car stopped w/ lights flashing.

1:14 pm  – Passed by private ambulance.

1:17 pm  – Passed “traffic accident” on South freeway: 1 Sheriff Patrol car, 1 Paramedic ambulance, 1 Firetruck.

1:18 pm  – Sheriff patrol car enters South freeway ahead of me, pulls over to the shoulder as soon as I pass.

4:15 pm  – Passed by private ambulance.

4:21 pm  – Passed Parking Officer on foot writing tickets at the beach.

5:00 pm – Passed by Lifeguard jeep.

Before you start pointing fingers….

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“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I’m not perfect
-and I don’t live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers…
make sure you hands are clean!” – Bob Marley

Perps like to hone in on, magnify, and mimic any faults, bad habits, and/or  negative/humiliating activities/thoughts that the target participates in. Here is a list of things that perps engage in on a daily basis that I don’t and never will do: 

– I don’t do drugs. I am not a drug addict, nor have I ever been one.

– I’m not an alcoholic.

– I’m not a pedophile.

– I’m not a prostitute or a drug dealer.

– I don’t abuse children or animals.

– I don’t abuse the elderly or handicapped people.

– I’m not an illegal immigrant.

– I’m not a thief or a vandal. I do not trespass on or inside other people’s property.

– I don’t own or carry any weapons or guns. I am not an illegal arms dealer.

– I don’t collect welfare, disability, unemployment, or food stamps.

– I am not unemployable, uneducated, or hopelessly ignorant.

– I don’t whore myself or my kids out for drug money.

– I don’t whore myself or my kids out to the government for a living.

– I’m not mentally ill or an ex-convict. I am not a cult member.

– I’m not a psychopath, sociopath, or a narcissist. I am not delusional or schizophrenic. I do not take or need to take any psychiatric medications.

– I am not an arson. I don’t create dangerous situations for people and then show up to pretend to be their “hero”.

– I am not addicted to sex, porn, gambling, nicotine, prescription drugs, or fraud. I am not obese.

– I don’t participate in workplace mobbing, conspiracy to murder, hate crimes, or sexual harassment.

– I don’t participate in the trafficking of humans for sex or slavery.

– I don’t participate in domestic or international terrorism.

– I don’t worship Satan or participate in Satanic ritual abuse.

– I don’t participate in psychological abuse or torture of men, women, or children. This includes gaslighting, impersonation, mind control, remote neural monitoring, non-consensual human experimentation, and aggressively promoting self- initiated executions (suicide).

– I am not an agent provocateur. This is an agent employed by the police or other entity to act undercover to entice or provoke another person to commit an illegal act.

– I don’t participate in physical torture of men, women, or children. This includes microwave weapons, directed energy weapons, electromagnetic torture, and sexual abuse.

– I don’t enjoy committing or watching others commit violent acts.

– I am not a fraud, nor do I commit any fraud. I don’t participate in psychiatric or medical fraud.

– I don’t use my professional position to engage in corruption and abuse of power.

– I am not a racist or a sexist or a misogynist. I don’t belong to any “secret societies”. I am not an elitist. I have never treated a person like an object.

– I don’t spread damaging, scandalous lies about people and bear false witness.

– I am not a voyeur. I don’t invade people’s privacy by spying on them inside their homes, including the bedroom, bathroom, and shower.

– I’m not a stalker. I don’t pretend I’m just “being a good citizen” by following innocent people around all day and harassing them.

Perps take great pride in doing all of these things and much more and “getting away with it”. All the while smiling and laughing about it all like it’s a funny inside “joke”. Cointelpro Gang Stalking is an unbelievably nasty, dirty, low- life crime and so are the people who participate in it- from the lowest low-life perp all the way up to the top brass in DHS, FBI, CIA, NSA, DOJ, DOD, US Military, Corporate America, etc.- they are a mass of filthy, soulless skanks.

The Replacements

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I’m going to write some things in this post that a lot of people are not ready to hear, including other TI’s. It’s something I’ve wanted to write about since I started this blog but didn’t know how. I still really don’t, and a lot of it is hypothesis, but I feel compelled to put it out there before it’s too late for some people, or a lot of people. This topic is one of the most puzzling and horrifying parts of my harassment. I have only encountered about 4-5 other TI’s who know about it or have been exposed to it.

Perps like to gaslight targets, or change their perception of reality, turning it into a surreal, dream-like setting. There are lots of ways they do this. One of the ways is with look-alikes, or “replacements”. I have also heard them referred to as “surrogates”, “twins”, “imposters”, and “doubles”. One TI said there are even “triplets” sometimes. I just saw an awful story on Facebook about farmers skinning a Mom’s dead calf and placing the skin over another live calf like a jacket to fool her. I’m not sure what the purpose is, but this is extremely cruel and confusing to the Mom. Perps are doing a similar thing to people right now.  I was bombarded with look-alikes when my targeting became overt last summer. And they are still doing it consistently in one setting.

These are my thoughts/ observations on “replacements”:

– They are made to look very similar to the person they are impersonating. Some are almost identical while others are very obviously a “cheap knockoff”. The identical ones are often used to impersonate family members, they are the most terrifying. The shoddy impersonators are used at work, local businesses, dentist’s office, therapist’s office, sheriff dept., to impersonate your neighbors, etc. in order to agitate the target. These will be very obvious to you but the torture is not being able to bust them for it.

– I don’t know if they are using actual clones, cloning specific features, plastic surgery, and/or facial transplants for the identical replacements. They will try to pass these ones off as family members, and they will be very convincing as they will know a lot about your family, but they will make mistakes. And of course, they will exhibit behaviors from your harassment protocol.

– Replacements are used for both perps and targets. When a perp has a replacement, it is for the purpose of gaslighting. When a target has a replacement, I think it means the target is dead or otherwise completely neutralized ( see below). I am certain they had a replacement ready for me last summer. I think it’s possible they might also gaslight low-level perps with look-alikes of the target.

– When a target is replaced, I think it means one of three things: the original target is dead, in jail, or institutionalized. If they are in jail or institutionalized, the perps must be pretty confident they are not getting out if they have replaced them. I am wondering if this is where NDAA is coming into play. If you can now be detained indefinitely, for no just reason, without any family contact, who’s to say they aren’t putting people in FEMA camps already? If the people in camps have been “replaced” by identical people (perps) out in society, no one will know until it is way too late. The other advantage to perps is that these identical replacements will be programmed to terrorize the rest of us.

– If a target is imprisoned or institutionalized and “replaced” with a double in society, this actually constitutes a kidnapping and fraud.

– If a target is programmed for a self initiated execution i.e. suicide and “replaced” with a double in society, this constitutes a murder, or a conspiracy to murder and fraud.

– I recently read that in the US, suicide has surpassed motor vehicle accidents as the number one cause of death from injury. Because of the above, I think the suicide rate is MUCH higher than what we know. If the suicide can be hidden and swept under the rug so no one knows about it, the target can be replaced seamlessly. I think this also goes for targets who go in for surgeries/procedures and are possibly murdered and replaced while they under anesthesia. I am certain some targets are “getting help” dying after being admitted to hospitals for medical problems and surgeries. Not all are replaced, if they had serious health problems to begin with, they don’t have to make the effort.

– Some of this may tie into what has happened in Aurora, Sandy Hook, and Boston. Many are saying these people are crisis actors and frauds, with some of the same characters being used more than once. And a possible look-alike being used now for the Boston bombing victim who had both legs injured.

– Replacing targeted family members with identical perps may be the reason for the recent increase in family suicide-murders.

-Some targets who think they are dealing with perp family members harassing them may not realize they are actually dealing with “replacements.”

May Day

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I just walked home from yoga class. As I approached my front steps, a blue VW Eurovan pulled out in the driveway in front of me, paused, made a left, turned into the driveway behind me, passed under my building, passed me again through a courtyard, and entered a garage next to my building. It’s not illegal to move your car, it is illegal to conspire with a group of neighbors to harass, intimidate, and stalk someone in sync. This neighbor has participated in it before.

In a way perps want to desensitize the target to the abuse. For us to expect and accept the daily harassment, invasion of privacy, neural monitoring, break-ins, stalking, noise campaign, street theater, rudeness, and blocking. To come to think of their crime as “just a joke” like they do. To forget how completely heinous and abusive it is, and what a complete violation of human and civil rights it is to make another human a victim of a life long non-consensual experiment. In their eyes, the target has 2 options, either accept it as your way of life for the rest of your life i.e. suck their dick; or you can end it by committing suicide.

I want a new primary doctor and will be requesting soon. The one I have is a fraud and an impersonator. He  actually sat and smirked at me while telling me he knew my psych diagnosis. The problem is, I was never diagnosed before I last saw him. The discharge diagnosis was “rule out ____”. He is a liar and a fraud. As far as finding another OB/GYN doctor, I’m at a loss. These appt.’s always suck to begin with, and my last 3 at Kaiser were just weird. They were with 3 different doctors and I now realize how weird and perp-like they were.

The first one was very young, Asian, and inexperienced. Actually I think she was a Nurse Practitioner. It felt like it was her first day on the job. When we finished I heard her rush into and office next door, I got the impression she was about to break down and cry. Probably over guilt at impersonating an NP. The second one was a male. He looked more like a contractor or a construction worker than a doctor, he didn’t wear a lab coat. He told me I had a cyst on my ovary that might need to be removed. When I came back for an Ultrasound (with a machine that looked and felt outdated), it had “magically” disappeared. He told me he was retiring soon and gave me 2 other names. I made an appt. with one who had an Asian name. She turned out to be a white female. I was 39 at the time. The first thing she said to me when she walked in the room was, “So, do you still get your period?” I actually saw her make a face when she took her hand out of me. Her laid back attitude struck me as odd, like she had just walked in off the street. I now realize she probably did. And for all I know, all of my MD appt.’s are probably recorded for my perps viewing pleasure. Yes America, they really, really, really are that sick.

Some other weird doctor stories:

A dermatologist I had seen a couple of times at Kaiser looked completely different when I came back to see him about a year later. I mean this wasn’t even a look-alike, it was not even him. Maybe I should have confirmed his name, but that’s where they nail you for acting unstable. I am very conscious of checking ID tags now.

I saw a doctor in Washington DC for a physical in 1995 or 1996. He looked like Richard Belzer, the comedian/actor from Law & Order. I remember him making me stand up and open my gown while he stood behind me. He then told me I needed to lose 10 pounds. Years later, around 2000, I now realize the same doctor wheeled my dad back to his unit on a gurney after having a heart catheterization at St. Raphael’s hospital in New Haven, CT. I distinctly remember seeing him and another doctor through a glass window. He was tall with a longish hair parted in the middle and wide, tinted eyeglasses. My Dad reported he had a very sharp, sudden pain in his chest during the procedure that he wasn’t expecting. He later told me that a nurse left the blood pressure cuff on the monitor in his room go on and off all night. I know now my Dad and family were being targeted at this time.

And don’t even get me started on the inpatient doctors when I was admitted to a locked unit last summer after being mobbed at work and violently jumped by 2 cops. Everyone in the Emergency dept. and the locked unit was a complete perp fraud, from the patients to the doctors. My ER doctor and my attending doctor both stalked me once separately in public after my discharge.